I fell off the roof! I fell off of the roof, and I live in a two-story house, and my back paw was broken! Now, don't worry, my humans ground up some extra-strength aspirin and put it in my Fancy Feast (I only get Fancy Feast on special occasions), so it hurts really bad, but not like it could be hurting. Funny things is, I'm not upset about my paw at all. Worse things have happened, but I have to go to the vet now! Ugh, I can't stand it. Have you seen that really old Garfield special, where in one of his old lives he was a lab animal, and they show his grotesque mutation into a dog? They actually showed his tail twitching and morphing, and the flesh on his paws ripping and his claws being forced out of his paws until they've become dog paws, and his eyes bulging and turning from beautiful cat eyes into scary dog eyes, and they showed his face being horribly deformed (he's shown to be in intense pain, by the way)! That is a vet. That is what vets do. They hurt you, they cut you, they turn you into a dog. And as I eat my Fancy Feast, I know that I am going to my death. Not the death of my body, the death of me. I'll blog until they turn me into a monster dog-cat. I hope I'll be a Dalmatian.
~Erik
No comments:
Post a Comment